peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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