What a fucking waste of an outfit
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
