Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
