Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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