is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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