So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
