Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
