anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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