Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
