You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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