I wish I only lived at night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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