we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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