I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
