Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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