Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So here I am, sexting at work.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
