apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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