I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize