the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
