yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
