the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
