if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize