Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
