i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
babies were throwing up all over the place
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I have tasted many bathrooms
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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