yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
