Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
