and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she looked like the before picture.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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