it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
