Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize