And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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