Soap is not a condiment
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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