i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
