dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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