i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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