Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
