yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
