Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
