Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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