Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
