Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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