So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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