like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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