Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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