Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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