A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
