Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize