his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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