she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
