Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
