I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
