Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
