she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
