I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
