just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
