is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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