Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am in a vortex of obligation.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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