Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
