why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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